


The Beast

by FallenFurther



Series: Episode related fics [5]
Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Angst and Feels, Beast - Freeform, Belonging, Family, Feels, Gen, Insecurity, Light Angst, Tumblr, Where I Belong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:41:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23579314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallenFurther/pseuds/FallenFurther
Summary: Post Series 1 Episode 1 & 2: Ring of FireDoing the TAG rewatch on Tumblr. I didn't start writing FanFiction until Series Three so this is giving me a chance to write post episode fics that I hadn't before.This happens right after Part 2 and is a little insight into what’s happening in Kayo’s head and the insecurities she keeps hidden.
Series: Episode related fics [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1612372
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7





	The Beast

Kayo stood staring up at her ship. Her own Thunderbird. She was one of them now, and indisputable part of the team. There was always part of her that didn't feel entirely part of the family. She knew she was. She had lived amongst the Tracy's long enough to know they accepted her, that they considered her a blood relative. But there was still a part of her that liked to rear its ugly head on occasion. That Beast, the one that told her she was just amongst them. That she didn’t belong. Like a Smartie in a bowl of Skittles. Just as colourful and bright on the outside but completely different on the inside. She could feel the Beast now, at the back of her head, scratching at the walls of the box she tried to keep it in. It wanted to drag her down, to remind her of the secrets she kept, the shame of her family. Jeff and Sally had kept it, they said her history didn't define her. But it had. It had influenced her every action and thought. It changed the way she saw the world and she doubted it was for the better.

She walked around Thunderbird Shadow. Had they known how much that name resonated with her? They often described her as a shadow, for she always seemed to be sneaking up on them. They just never heard her light footsteps. Kayo knew why she stood in the shadows. Why she positioned herself to the side at events or in family photos. She never let herself take the centre. The few photos where she had been were the times when Alan and Gordon had dragged her there, normally through a trick she hadn't seen coming. They had tried to coax her into the circle. Yet ultimately, this ship showed her differences as much as her place in the family. They were the heroes, the rescuers. Their ships had multiple seats, grapples, equipment stores and were ready for any occasion. Thunderbird Shadow was smaller, sleeker, quieter. One seat, basic equipment. A spy plane. Fast and quiet. 

Its lines pleased her as she stroked her fingers along its body. The boys often said they felt one with their Thunderbird, that they could tell when something was wrong just from the feel and the sound. As Kayo climbed into the seat, she looked forward to having that feeling. She'd have to have a few practice flights, but she had enough flying experience that it shouldn't be too hard to master. Her fingers wrapped around the controls, and she could feel the itch to try it. She was going to be good enough for them. She had to be. She couldn't let her past affect them any more than it already had. The guilt she carried was heavy enough. She sat back and looked over the hanger, Thunderbird One had just disappeared up its launch ramp, Scott really going for the fake rescue. At least Sally was never too hurt by the boys running off at the mere smell of her cooking. She understood, she just loved them too much, and it kept them on their toes. Kayo had seen the smile on Sally's face when she had managed to outwit Scott and Virgil once. Sally took the small victories as she tried to keep the family safe and healthy. 

The seat was comfortable, and Kayo didn't want to leave it. It was made for her. It felt right. Seeing her Uncle had thrown her, and she was craving comfort and security. The last time she'd caught wind of her Uncle she'd chased a dead end; she had fallen for his bait. She was sure he'd been watching, laughing. When she was finally allowed to see the footage of Jeff's crash, she understood why her Dad had deserted her. He'd said goodbye, told her he was retiring and left the island. She hadn't understood, only a teenager at the time. She'd needed her Dad, and he had left. She had grieved silently. Unlike the boys she knew her Dad was alive. They had to accept their Dad wasn't coming back. They were orphaned, she was abandoned. They had gone through it together though, and it had helped keep the Beast at bay, knowing they all knew the same pain of loss. But she had also felt the shame. The shame that fed the Beast. Had told her she was, in part, to blame. Why else would her Uncle target their family, if not for her and her Dad? Her Dad had told her Jeff had invited them to the island, had wanted them there, but how much had Jeff known about her Uncle’s character? Had he truly known the risks? She didn't know much about her Uncle herself. She'd barely met him, had so few memories. Her Dad had told her he'd tell her when she was older, when she was ready. She had been ready for years, but still she had to try piece it together herself. Jeff had met her Uncle, she knew that much, but had he known what he was truly capable of? That the man would try to hurt him? Or those he held dearest? Kayo couldn't let that happen. She would not let her Uncle take another Tracy. Her hands gripped the controls tightly, her anger and determination rising in her chest. She now had a Thunderbird, a plane to aid her hunt. She would keep her family safe. Because she was their family, despite the Beast, despite the genetics and the lies, she was a Tracy in every way that mattered. She was Tanusha Kyrano of International Rescue, Chief of Security. She would keep them safe.


End file.
